30 November – 1 December 2018
Before the winter
season set in, AirSpace Gallery received a visit from Rivca Rubin: a
practitioner, behavioural scientist and Director of Imag?ne and
Upwording Ltd, based in Manchester. In her own words, Rivca “assists
people to live the lives they want to live; artists to ascertain
their vision, locate the essence and refine their practice; companies
to refine, grow purpose, align practice to values, and create working
cultures where people are engaged and flourish.”
As part of AirSpace
Gallery's ongoing organisational development, Rivca was selected to
provide Co Directors Glen Stoker and Anna Francis, and artists
Rebecca Davies and Selina Oakes with the tools and strategies to
coach and mentor others, as well as to work together, fluently, as
the Gallery moves forward into its future phases.
The two-day workshop
was intense: from my own perspective, time was needed to let things
'settle in.' The session began with a rumination over our 'Desired
Outcomes' – what we wanted to achieve from our time with Rivca. In
a personalised journal printed 'Upwording – AirSpace Gallery' with
Rivca's tagline “Words change worlds; yours, mine, ours,” we each
jotted down a few loose ideas: collectively, we were excited but
apprehensive. We spoke about what we wanted more or less of, and then
reflected on the wider impacts of realising our desired outcomes –
on ourvselves, our networks and the community.
One of the most
useful techniques covered during the two-days was the GROW Coaching
Model developed by Sir John Whitmore and Carol Wilson. For the
purpose of these sessions, Rivca had adapted the GROW model and
emphasised the mentor and coach's function as “facilitating their
[mentee/ coachee] thinking without contaminating it with your own.”
It's common sense really: in order to facilitate someone's thinking
and speaking, it is vital that that same person is listened to and
given the time to be listened to – a process which is so often
neglected in everyday society and often a source of frustration.
So, we learnt to
listen: to listen to our mentee's responses – to the language they
used and the silences they required. Again, too often are we taught
that 'silence' is a negative thing, when quietness can be a moment of
thinking and revelation – at least this is what we were trying to
learn. Another key part of the GROW model was learning how to detach
yourself [as a mentor] from content, judgement and your own
conclusions. For example, we [as mentors] asked the questions to
stimulate thought rather than suggest responses to questions that may
or may not exist.
G-oal
R-eality
O-ptions
W-ill
G- began with What
Do You Want? - the larger, Macro, overall goal – and ended with How
Important is this to You? - the Micro goal. R- continued with What is
Happening Now? - a process of positivity and reflecting on what is
already in place, and then observing what is not in place. O-
questioned What the Mentee Could Do with the current realities in
place. W- concluded with the mentee setting themselves tasks and time
scales.
In practising the
GROW model between ourselves, we learnt a) more about each other b)
more about ourselves c) more about how we do and do not listen.
Another technique which attached itself to the GROW model was a
process of 'reflecting back' – of mirroring what the mentee said to
us, rather than providing new content. This was particularly
challenging as, in society, we are frequently taught to speak about
ourselves and what we know – rather than mirroring what someone
else has said. In feeding back what the mentee had said and neither
embellishing it nor adding new content, the mentee's words are
solidified and strengthened. It is then up to them to acknowledge
their own thoughts when fed back. This was particularly challenging.
Another tool used
was eliciting new information through questions such as “What else”
and “Is there anything else?” While frustrating at times, it had
the potential to elicit new thought or action in the mentee. As
mentors, we were asked to provoke self-feedback: asking the mentee to
reflect upon their own performance in a presentation, performance or
interview situation.
Towards the end of
the first day, another model – COCI – was introduced to us. COCI
is adapted from Deborah Barnard's Relational Dynamics Coaching and
promotes non-violent communication: how to adopt a sense of
acceptance and empathy without the need to agree. Before employing
COCI we were also asked to either a) wait for an invitation to unpack
a comment or conversation or b) ask for permission i.e. “may I
share with you what I mean?”
C-lean > state the facts without judgement
O-wn > own
your responses and avoid blame
C-urious > remain curious not furious
I-ntention > check your intention: recognise intention to hurt or reprimand and
exchange it for an intention to connect and understand.
In using COCI, we
were also asked to reflect upon basic human needs such as health and
wellbeing, freedom: autonomy and choice, and safety and security. The
focus of non-violent communication is to meet our human needs at no
cost to ourselves or others. In relation to coaching, it is also
important to separate your need from the coachee's needs.
Day two began with a
reflection on the previous day's learning and putting the GROW model
into practice while assessing each others' performances as mentors
and coaches. We also looked at the differences between mentoring –
in which mentor may direct the mentee's focus – and coaching – in
which the coach guides the coachee with action points. Both however,
focus on the learner (mentee/coachee) and 'advise' is rarely given as
mentee/ coachee may become dependent on mentor.
Time was spent on
how to open a coaching session: for this we followed the Seven Seas
model (which is actually 6 Cs and 1 Qs) – Contract, Confidential,
Comfort, Clock, Control, Coaching and Questions. We were also asked
to 'Check-in' with our mentee at the beginning of each session.
In the second half
of day two, we looked at Visualisations: a tool used to focus the
mentee on the future and then to work backwards in the their minds to
where they are today. This encourages a freedom in what the future
could look like (with a focus on wants rather than needs) and how to
get to b) from a).
'Upwording'
concluded our two-day workshop. We spent a couple of hours reflecting
on the use of language and how it contributes to the formation of
power structures and hierarchies – and how languages of obedience
and control can be dismantled. In Rivca's words, Upwording identifies
“how small changes in the way we speak can create seismic impacts.”
In the session, Rivca suggested that thinking and speaking are so
habitual (she also noted that most things done by humans are habitual
– not natural): Upwording promotes the use of active language
choices to dispel coercive and authoritarian ways of communication.
For example, saying
“I heard or I saw or I felt” instead of “You did or You said or
You made me feel” shows that you are taking responsibility for your
own emotions and actions, and not passing the blame to someone else.
Upwording puts the emphasis on “I” but also highlights the use of
fact and factual statements rather than evaluative ones. It also
suggests that it is dangerous to place sentiments and ideas upon
another person: in saying “You are….” the speaker places
pressure on the receiver by stating that they are something which
they have to live up to at all times. There is also the notion of a
“theft of ideas” - if we suggest something to someone this limits
their sense of capability to think and creative, and thus affects
their self-esteem.
But, equally, there
is also the manner in which you respond to a stimulus or how someone
speaks with you. While Rivca states that it is better to use “How
would you like it be?” and “What else could you do?” rather
than you can do this or that, it is also up to the receiver to
interpret stimulus how they see fit. There is always a choice – for
both parties. Still, this workshop focused on mentoring and coaching
and, as a mentor or coach, the task ahead of you is to elicit the
best outcome for your mentee from the mentee themselves.
As AirSpace Gallery
grows and develops, we (Glen, Anna, Rebecca and Selina) hope to
provide further mentoring and coaching support for emerging and
mid-career artists in the future. This two-day workshop, led by Rivca
and supported by Arts Council England as part of our Organisational
Development Bid, has enabled us to evaluate of modes of communication
and models of mentoring which we plan to actively employ as part of
AirSpace Gallery's upcoming programme.
